Everybody Get Stoned
by The itsy bitsy spider
Summary: Don't do drugs. Unless you really want to, but don't say I didn't warn ya.


The Discovery of Weed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Andy was just a normal teen with mental problems due to the fact that he toked everyday. One day his mom walked in on him.

"Andy is that marijuana!"

Andy looked at his Mom with glazed eyes and laughed, "Hee hee, hey Mom, you got boobs!" Andy laughed.

"That's it young man!" Mrs. Davis grabbed Andy by his ear and took him straight to the hospital to get detoxicated.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The toys all got up and looked at the burning joint of green goodness that lied still burning in the middle of the floor. They all knew what it was but none of them knew what it could do.

"What is that stuff?" Slinkydog asked.

"I don't know Slink, But Mrs. Davis wasn't to happy with Andy when he was inhaling it. We should leave it alone," Woody said and the others agreed with him

But Buzz wanted to know what it was. Why it was making Andy say such strange things and see things that weren't there, like the time he thought there was a pink elephant in his room named Wank or the giant peach that was chasing him. The Space man walked up to the joint and sniffed the smoke that was steaming from the lit end. Buzz got a little buzzed. "Hey guys, this isn't bad." Buzz kneeled down and toked off the end. He got dazed and stoned. "Hey hey Jessie, you gotta try this it's amazing!" he started laughing hysterically. He looked at Jessie as she walked over. From bing stoned it appeared to him that she was walking around in a string bikini.

Jessie looked at it and put a finger to her mouth not sure, "Are you sure this is OK Buzz?" she looked at the strange way he was looking at her and then at the weed.

"It's good! It makes everything look way cool dude!" Buzz said as he then looked around, "Whoa hey! Did you know that we are like not even a foot tall!" he looked around again, "Hey I'm in a bedroom! Wow cool!"

Jessie decided what the hell and toked. She got just as stoned as Buzz. She looked at him and to her he appeared to be in a lime green thong. She started to laugh. "Hahaha! It makes your dick stick out!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buzz and Jessie sat around the joint that was burning on the floor. Taking turns toking off of it. They were so high! 

"Hey Jessie," Buzz said in between laughs, " You got boobies!" Buzz shouted.

They booth threw their heads back and laughed hysterically.

"And, And," Jessie tried to get out as she laughed, "You got balls Buzz!!"

They laughed and laughed some more. Pretty soon they had pointed out every little thing the other had and were rolling on the floor laughing their ass's off.

"Hey you ever noticed the clouds on the wall's before," Buzz said wide eyed and glazed.

"Hey yeah! There are clouds, ohhhhhh," Jessie said amazed.

"I wonder how they like took the clouds from the sky, you know, and brought them inside and glued them on the wall," Buzz said to Jessie as he and her stared at the wall.

"Ohhh! You're right!" Jessie agreed. Jessie tilted her head up to look at the ceiling. "Hey ,hey, Buzz Look!" She pointed up at the ceiling. "There are no clods in the sky because some dude has taken them all and put them on like the walls and stuff man!"

"Oh my God you're right!" Buzz jumped up. "There are like no clouds in the sky! That's not cool dude," Buzz shook his head and finger at Jessie no.

"Na uh, not cool," Jessie also shook her stoned head and finger. "You know what! We should like free the clouds from the wall and put, them, back in the sky man!"

"Yeah!" Buzz and Jessie ran to the wall and started to grab at the wall paper clouds. "They are like stuck!"

"Let's get a knife and cut, them off the wall," Jessie had an idea. 

"Yeah then we'll get like some super glue shit and put them in the sky!" Buzz agreed. The two stoned toys went into Andy's dresser and took out his pocket knife. The carried it to the wall. They jabbed it into the drywall and cut out a huge section of the wall leaving a big gaping hole.

"OK now we got the cloud, let's get the glue!" Jessie said as she held the piece of wall.

"I got," Buzz laughed, "Special glue hu hu hu," Buzz started to reach into his pants.

"No man, we need like real glue that you buy at the store and stuff," Jessie said.

"OK." Buzz climbed up onto the desk and got Andy's tube of super glue that he had been using to glue his boogers onto the desk to write his name. Once the item was attained Buzz took it to Jessie. "OK let's like climb onto that shelve thingy there and go put it in the sky." the two toys hauled up the giant slab of wall to the top of the shelve and Buzz put the right kind of super glue on the back. They placed the cloud on the ceiling. 

"You're free little cloud! You're free!" Jessie yelled as she waved bye-bye to the cloud that wasn't even moving.

"I'm going to miss the little guy," Buzz started to cry, "I raised him from a little baby, and now he's all grown up and living in the sky thing now!" Jessie and Buzz embraced each other on the shelve as they cried. As they cried the weight of a slab of drywall on the ceiling was too much for it and the cloud fell off leaving yet another hole in the ceiling. Jessie and Buzz stopped crying and started laughing as they watched the piece of ceiling fall downwards towards an unsuspecting victim of fate.

"Aghhhhhh!!!!!" Bo Peep screamed but was suddenly silenced bye the piece crushing her.

"Cloudy came back," Buzz said.

"Aww look," Jessie said clasping her hands dearly, "They're playing together." the two toys started laughing again and they didn't even know why.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

For the rest of the day Buzz and Jessie sat on the floor laughing and toking the joint until it was all gone. They were completely stoned. One final thought popped it's way into their heads.

"Hey, I just got like this really cool idea," Buzz said.

"What! I wanna hear this far out idea man!" Jessie pressed him to move on in his speech.

"We should have sex!" Buzz shouted.

"Right now!?"

"Yeah right here right now! And lots of it too!" 

"Coolio!"

Both managed to rip all their apparels off under the bed but before anyone could do anything they both collapsed and feel sound asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You go to your room right now young man and I don't wanna see you until tomorrow morning!" Andy's Mom shouted as she drug Andy upstairs by his ear. She opened his door to see the two holes in the room and a smashed Bo Peep doll. "You are in serious trouble Mister!"

"But Mom I didn't do it I swear!" Andy tried to defend himself.

"That's what they all say!" she yelled. "You were probably so damn fucking high you didn't remember what you did!" she walked off and slammed the door. Andy didn't say a word and picked up the chunks of Bo Peep and threw them in the trash and then put his glue and knife back where they belonged and went to sleep.

END


End file.
